Precautions when coming out
Come out systematically ♪ Conversely, those who come outhere
●At your own pace
It goes without saying that there is no foolproof way to come out. There are as many ways to come out as there are people, and what works for someone may fail for someone else. I think the important thing is that you approach your come-out with methods and words that you are comfortable with, according to your own circumstances.
Consider how far you'll come out, such as "I'll tell my friends but not my family."
●Are you ready to come out?
Are you able to accept yourself as LGBT? It's important to think, "I'm fine with this." You might want to chat with your LGBT friends about coming out first so you can get used to talking about yourself.
Also, when you come out, the other person may ask you various questions. If possible, think about answers such as "Will you not recover?" "Will you marry?" "What about children?"
●Let's make a plan to come out!
1. Who do you want to tell first?
Parents, siblings, children, best friends, friends, colleagues, you have many options. Who do you want to tell most? And why? Let's put in order who you want to say first and who you want to say later. Some say, "I can't tell anyone but my family!", and some say, "I can never tell my family!"
2. When do you want to say?
If you live together, is it time for rice? Do you want me to take your time again? If it's a school friend, is it on the way home? Invite me for tea? A letter to a child who lives far away? Email? Some people want to be serious and formal, while others want to be casual with small talk. Do you really have to say it now? Why?
3. Where do you want to say it?
You may want a place where you can feel safe and have privacy. However, in the unlikely event of a violent reaction, a place that is easy to leave may be good. If you already have friends, it's safe to ask them to stay with you or wait nearby. Recently, some people naturally appeal to others by setting their SNS profile as LGBT.
4, Let's assume every reaction!
When you come out, you may be told, "Don't attack me!" Homosexuals have the misconception that anyone can be of the same sex. Including such a reaction, let's imagine how the other person will react. When you receive a positive response, when you receive a negative response, when you are surprised and shut up, or when the other person has religious or political beliefs, and so on.
5. Learn the basics!
Even if you came out as gay, you might get the wrong answer, "So you're going to change your gender and become a woman." You may also ask, "What's the difference between gay and homo? Which one should I use?" Knowing the basics, such as the meaning of terms, will help you come out.
6. Convey the main points step by step
The person who is coming out may be nervous and can't afford it, but the person who is suddenly coming out may be surprised and confused, and may not know how to react. Especially when it comes to coming out to children and the elderly, it is better to have them understand one by one than to say many things at once. For example, come out about yourself first, then tell him you have a girlfriend. (If you are asked about your lover at the beginning, you may answer.)
7. Come out is something you get used to
Don't get discouraged if your first come-out in life ends in failure. It's rare to succeed in anything without practice. As you come out to various people, you should gradually get used to it. Trial & Error! Don't be discouraged if you fail once!
8. What if? !
The person who came out may say hurtful things, or the other person may talk about it to other people without permission (outing), and you may find yourself in a painful situation. In such a case, do you have any friends who will listen to you? Or do you have connections with LGBT support groups that you can consult with? Don't keep it to yourself, ask for help as much as possible.
Revised 2019/10/05
2014/01/25